There are things about my mom that you have to know. My mom makes chili. There are always pies in moms freezer. She loves the Harlequin romances. And she likes her TV shows. Which brings me to the point.
My mom's shows are "Murder She Wrote", "Matlock", "Perry Mason", and other old school crime shows of this sort. Mom also loves "Big Brother" and "Deal or No Deal".
Mom recently discovered that she has the Game Show Network. My mom can be found when ever her other shows are not on, watching the Game Show Network. It is really quite cute and I will always remember her watching her game shows. The other day, I came in the room to her watching that one with the Wammys that come up. I also heard her mumbling something about "that dumb blonde bimbo"
Oh yeah, Blondes suck where mom is concerned. They are all bimbos. What does that say about me? I colored my hair darker and she tells me she likes it better blonde. Blonde men are handsome but blonde women are "dumb bimbos".
Mom has very definite ideas about technology. She constantly talks about those computers that she thinks are the work of the devil. She will not pay her bills on line. She does not email. This is actually quite normal for many of her generation.
Mom's saying that I have picked up is "what the sam frappin hell..."
However, one must never underestimate the ability of my mom to manipulate memories to serve her own purpose. Specifically, to this day, she swears that my sister and I caused her to hit another car in the 7-11 parking lot. We did not do anything. She swears to this day, we were fighting in the backseat and she was distracted by us.
Oh well she is a cute little short shit that is always entertaining.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
I'm feeling snotty tonight
Who am I kidding I have had a particularly snotty year. I have no excuse. (well I do but I won't discuss it here) Sometimes I get bugged by the dumbest things. Like the fact that in a brand new public women's restroom, the toilet paper roll does not work and you only get a sheet or two at a time. In the same restroom, there are no sanitary napkin disposal things. There is also only one trash can that is half the size of normal kitchen trash cans. Who the hell put this bathroom together? More importantly, who the hell actually paid for it? There are three sinks on two walls and one does not have a mirror on the wall behind it and of course no trash can around it.
Why can't fast food workers get an order of one hamburger and small fries right? Is it really that hard? And what's with the attitude when you tell them they gave you the wrong shit? They can't handle one line in the drive thru and now some places have two order stations for cars to pull up to.
Why do we keep buying things from China when they are poisoning our children? They have poisoned their own rivers and air why do we think the workers over there give a shit about turning out products worth our money?
The elections are coming. All of the possible candidates suck.
Why do welfare recipients get taxes back? How do people get back more than what they paid in? Redistribution of the wealth sucks. No wonder we have so many underachievers. Pretty soon we can all get by on the hard work and backs of the very few willing to work for their education. Thank you to the Clintons of the world for this. It is a great idea to convince people they are entitled to their doctors paycheck and then they are entitled to turn around and sue them for more money. Smart, real smart. How about we redistribute the wealth of Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Danny Glover, and George Clooney. Leave them with $30,000 per year to live on? I'll take some of that.
Can we talk about the blood sucking ambulance chasers that we are subjected to every time we turn on the television? I am tired of hearing how I am entitled to Social Security Disability and that you can get it for me. Or if I am hurt in a car wreck call.... You will get me a gazillion dollars for my bruised butt.
I used to think like many other people that Brittney Spears was completely screwed up. Now I feel sorry for her. I know her antics sell papers. But jeez, leave the girl alone. She is obviously going through her own hell. For her kids sake can we just let the girl rest and get the help she needs?
Can our children be taught to read before you teach them how their parents don't know what they hell they are doing? Can you just teach the kids to read and do math? Do you have to spend half the day on political correctness? Quit brainwashing our children with crap that is not your business and not in your job description. Parents, take control of your kids. Teach them rather then sitting them in front of the TV. Dads, this means you too.
And by the way, What is wrong in believing in God? And for the record, all Catholic Priests are not child molesters. Why do we NEVER hear about the Muslim Clerics who rape little boys? Oh that might not be politically correct. And it is not the agenda of the all knowing press now is it?
Cuban Health care? Quality health care for everyone for free is an illusion at best. Have you seen the hospitals for the real Cubans? Not the ones where Castro goes and where he gives tours to Hollywood stars. But the every day people hospitals. No one on the political front lines has a realistic plan to make it happen. It just sounds good and gives them votes. But they cannot tell you how to make it happen. Something will be sacrificed. It will probably be one of our family members. After all Congress and the President won't be going to a regular hospital. You can count on that.
What ever happened to saying please and thank you to others? And why do people wait outside a door for you to open it when you are leaving so that you can hold it open for them to enter? Why don't people wait for you to get off an elevator before they start shoving their way in? Do people even say excuse me anymore? We have lost our manners. People don't care about pushing and shoving. They don't care about cutting in a line.
Oh well, such is life as we know it. Like I said, I am feeling snotty tonight.
Why can't fast food workers get an order of one hamburger and small fries right? Is it really that hard? And what's with the attitude when you tell them they gave you the wrong shit? They can't handle one line in the drive thru and now some places have two order stations for cars to pull up to.
Why do we keep buying things from China when they are poisoning our children? They have poisoned their own rivers and air why do we think the workers over there give a shit about turning out products worth our money?
The elections are coming. All of the possible candidates suck.
Why do welfare recipients get taxes back? How do people get back more than what they paid in? Redistribution of the wealth sucks. No wonder we have so many underachievers. Pretty soon we can all get by on the hard work and backs of the very few willing to work for their education. Thank you to the Clintons of the world for this. It is a great idea to convince people they are entitled to their doctors paycheck and then they are entitled to turn around and sue them for more money. Smart, real smart. How about we redistribute the wealth of Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Danny Glover, and George Clooney. Leave them with $30,000 per year to live on? I'll take some of that.
Can we talk about the blood sucking ambulance chasers that we are subjected to every time we turn on the television? I am tired of hearing how I am entitled to Social Security Disability and that you can get it for me. Or if I am hurt in a car wreck call.... You will get me a gazillion dollars for my bruised butt.
I used to think like many other people that Brittney Spears was completely screwed up. Now I feel sorry for her. I know her antics sell papers. But jeez, leave the girl alone. She is obviously going through her own hell. For her kids sake can we just let the girl rest and get the help she needs?
Can our children be taught to read before you teach them how their parents don't know what they hell they are doing? Can you just teach the kids to read and do math? Do you have to spend half the day on political correctness? Quit brainwashing our children with crap that is not your business and not in your job description. Parents, take control of your kids. Teach them rather then sitting them in front of the TV. Dads, this means you too.
And by the way, What is wrong in believing in God? And for the record, all Catholic Priests are not child molesters. Why do we NEVER hear about the Muslim Clerics who rape little boys? Oh that might not be politically correct. And it is not the agenda of the all knowing press now is it?
Cuban Health care? Quality health care for everyone for free is an illusion at best. Have you seen the hospitals for the real Cubans? Not the ones where Castro goes and where he gives tours to Hollywood stars. But the every day people hospitals. No one on the political front lines has a realistic plan to make it happen. It just sounds good and gives them votes. But they cannot tell you how to make it happen. Something will be sacrificed. It will probably be one of our family members. After all Congress and the President won't be going to a regular hospital. You can count on that.
What ever happened to saying please and thank you to others? And why do people wait outside a door for you to open it when you are leaving so that you can hold it open for them to enter? Why don't people wait for you to get off an elevator before they start shoving their way in? Do people even say excuse me anymore? We have lost our manners. People don't care about pushing and shoving. They don't care about cutting in a line.
Oh well, such is life as we know it. Like I said, I am feeling snotty tonight.
Reasons why men suck
I usually defend men. Really I do. I can go on and on about how the American man has been emasculated by women for the past 40 years. I can tell you how the feministas have ruined men. But that is not what this is about. This is about how stupid they are sometimes. All of them,NO exceptions.
I am so sick of men acting like babies. I don't care how they got that way. It is time for them to stop pouting. I am tired of seeing grown men throw hissy fits at the drop of a hat. And I am sick and tired of the childish names they resort to when they don't get what they want.
In case ya missed it, I am just sick period. This week I have been subjected to men in the throws of tantrums that rival most women on their worst PMS day. I have finally had enough. I have talked on the phone to someone I was once involved with only to hang up and be so thankful he is not my problem anymore. A co-worker had the nerve to talk about women and irrationality. My own brother resorted to male behavior and broke out the 4 little words I will never tolerate in my presence. (Whore, slut, cunt, and stupid) Another man I know and see daily has gone so far to say how dumb women are and what are appropriate things for them to do are.
Every time a man gets mad and they can't talk like a grown up, they break out with the same old thing. All of them do it. ALL OF THEM. You are just kidding yourself or you haven't been ahead of the game in an argument with one of them. Take your pick. When they don't get their way or they can't back up their rhetoric they resort to calling us the same thing.
It is not that I hate men, I don't. Most days, I feel sorry for them and the pressure they are under. BUT, today is not that day. Today, they suck because they have no sense of self preservation. They do not care about feelings. (Or they care so much that it is sickening). Where have all the good ones gone? They must be married. Even the gay ones suck. Now that they are considered every girls fashion accessory the power has gone to their heads. Gay men I know, love to bash others while preaching about acceptance. They love to critique women's clothes, hair, weight, and any other thing they can. Can you practice what ya preach????
NEWSFLASH!! Not all gay men have great fashion sense, and you all are not as hot as you think you are.
To the men out there, get a backbone and some intelligence. Quit name calling. Make an argument. Do something. Quit blaming premenstrual syndrome on YOUR problems. Make a freaking decision when you need to. Stop crying. Get over yourself. Use hair regeneration products when you need to. Pick up your underwear. Get your balls out of your girls purse and try them on. You might like having them back. Take care of your kids. Stop being martyrs. And most of all, when a girl gets her hair done or loses twenty pounds tell her it looks good on her.
Lastly, to the women, stop nagging at them, they truly cannot help it. Set your reasonable boundaries and make them clear. Stop whining and crying. When they get to be too much, just bash them with your friends and go buy a new expensive purse and a tub of Ben and Jerry's to comfort you.
I am so sick of men acting like babies. I don't care how they got that way. It is time for them to stop pouting. I am tired of seeing grown men throw hissy fits at the drop of a hat. And I am sick and tired of the childish names they resort to when they don't get what they want.
In case ya missed it, I am just sick period. This week I have been subjected to men in the throws of tantrums that rival most women on their worst PMS day. I have finally had enough. I have talked on the phone to someone I was once involved with only to hang up and be so thankful he is not my problem anymore. A co-worker had the nerve to talk about women and irrationality. My own brother resorted to male behavior and broke out the 4 little words I will never tolerate in my presence. (Whore, slut, cunt, and stupid) Another man I know and see daily has gone so far to say how dumb women are and what are appropriate things for them to do are.
Every time a man gets mad and they can't talk like a grown up, they break out with the same old thing. All of them do it. ALL OF THEM. You are just kidding yourself or you haven't been ahead of the game in an argument with one of them. Take your pick. When they don't get their way or they can't back up their rhetoric they resort to calling us the same thing.
It is not that I hate men, I don't. Most days, I feel sorry for them and the pressure they are under. BUT, today is not that day. Today, they suck because they have no sense of self preservation. They do not care about feelings. (Or they care so much that it is sickening). Where have all the good ones gone? They must be married. Even the gay ones suck. Now that they are considered every girls fashion accessory the power has gone to their heads. Gay men I know, love to bash others while preaching about acceptance. They love to critique women's clothes, hair, weight, and any other thing they can. Can you practice what ya preach????
NEWSFLASH!! Not all gay men have great fashion sense, and you all are not as hot as you think you are.
To the men out there, get a backbone and some intelligence. Quit name calling. Make an argument. Do something. Quit blaming premenstrual syndrome on YOUR problems. Make a freaking decision when you need to. Stop crying. Get over yourself. Use hair regeneration products when you need to. Pick up your underwear. Get your balls out of your girls purse and try them on. You might like having them back. Take care of your kids. Stop being martyrs. And most of all, when a girl gets her hair done or loses twenty pounds tell her it looks good on her.
Lastly, to the women, stop nagging at them, they truly cannot help it. Set your reasonable boundaries and make them clear. Stop whining and crying. When they get to be too much, just bash them with your friends and go buy a new expensive purse and a tub of Ben and Jerry's to comfort you.
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