I don't mean to be rude, but I am so sick of getting stuck in traffic behind these soccer moms in their damn mini vans. And I total hate the sticker. You know the one I am talking about. I mean, I understand the van but it seems that all of these women who drive them have lost their mind. They drive slow, are consistently on their damn phones, and they all look like they came from the same old mold.
Is there a type of person who drives the mini van? I think there is. They are all women who have the same hair style, you know the type, ultra conservative preppy. But not in an expensive way. God forbid they go for something unique. They all have their little Johnny's and Susie's in the back with the sippy cup. These women look down their collective noses at people who have not devoted every minute being in awe of their kid. I especially love the van with the bumper sticker advertising their kid made the honor roll. As if that is something hard to do these days, everything is spoon fed to these kids so that they can manipulate achievement tests. The ultimate dumbing down of American kids. After all, it might bruise their ego if we give them a hard test that pushes them to their limits. And as we know the mini van mom is all about protecting her baby's fragile self esteem.
I really hate they way they drive. They seem to navigate at 10 miles below the speed limit as if they are afraid that they might actually get somewhere today. Yesterday, I was amazed that one of these bitches actually almost rear ended me. (I was going 10 miles over the limit) She was of course on her phone. When she had to cut over 2 lanes of traffic to exit at the last minute. No doubt she was coordinating her important life or her child's social calender. I had a bad case of road rage and had to introduce her to my finger. I probably scarred the little darlings in the back seat for life. Hopefully mom got off the phone to explain my bad person behavior and got the kids off the highway safely.
Lastly, I don't really give a shit about your kids report card. There I said it, I could care less if they are on the honor roll or what sport they are in. I get that you are proud of your kiddo's accomplishments. I am proud of my child as well. She too made the honor roll in school. However, she tells me she did not need me to put and I quote, "some gay assed sicker on the car" to let the whole world know she was better than anyone else. (her ego is fine in that she claims to know she is better than everyone else) I must talk to that kid about her elevated self esteem. But after talking to her, that's when I got it, the sticker wasn't about stroking the kids ego, It is about stroking the parent's ego.
